Q- What is MAG?
A- MAG (Monsters Against God) is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing a safe gathering place for Knott's monsters who don't wish to be banned from groups for having actual ideas and opinions.
Q- Does MAG leadership hate God?
A- Sure! Unless you don't consider atheistic ambivalence "hate" per se.
Q- Is MAG Satanic?
A- Maybe some members are, but who cares. That's not MAG's business.
Q- Can I join MAG?
A- Anyone who wants in is welcome during specific time periods and membership at other times depends on who you ask.
Q- Who should I ask about MAG membership?
A- That depends on who you know.
Q- Why do some MAG members use letters or numbers instead of names?
A- This is to dehumanize them and help them on the path to becoming a robotic killing machine.
Q- When/why did MAG start?
A- In April/because the Dominions list got incredibly stupid and needed an enema. It worked.
Q- What is "the Dominions list"?
A- Some horseshit that involves fangs and party invitations I think.
Q- Who is in charge of MAG?
A- Nobody! At least, not who anyone thinks. Nobody is truly in charge, MAG exists as a headless entity without direction, bumbling boldly into areas rarely seen by light and goodness.
Q- Does MAG love me?
A- Sure, why not. Just kiss MAG's ass and MAG will pretend to love you.
Q- What is MAGwear?
A- MAGwear is clothing emblazoned with MAGletters. Matching sweaters can already be seen on 3 members of MAG.
Q- What are MAG's MAGletters?
A- M, A, and G.
Q- What is the MAG star code for MAGwear?
A- 2 stars for BoEM (4 BoEM work at Haunt 2003), 1 star for JrWC (3 at Haunt 2003), all others can use as many or as few stars as they like, thus rendering the star code irrelevant!
Q- Who are BoEM and JrWC?
A- People in rubber masks.
Q- Do I have to be a wussy computer dick to be a member of MAG?
A- Absolutely not. All you need is a nod of approval from whichever MAGelder is around.
Q- Who are the MAGelders?
A- They're easy enough to spot if you look for more than 3 seconds.
Q- I think I saw MAGgraffitti in a couple mazes at Haunt 2003, did I?
A- Depends on where you looks. MAG markings are in at least a dozen places at Haunt 2003, how many have you seen?
Q- If MAG were to be offered a big payoff by a radical Christian organization to disgroup, would MAG stand up for it's beliefs or sell out?
A- Sell out.
That concludes MAG FAQ 2003. If you have more questions, please direct them to your local MAG representative, whoever that may be.
MAG Minister of Information.
Thank You For Choosing MAG.