In accordance with laws nobody bothered to announce or even figure out, it is with great pride that I announce the following official M.A.G. Ministry positions, effective now until the end of time (shown in alphabetical order). By being among the first 13 members of M.A.G., we are all blessed to be assigned 2 important jobs each in this, the dawning of our new facist era or monster empowerment.
Adrian: Minister of justice & amputation
Bigbomber: Minister of exploded monster trucks & bribes
Blackbyrd: Minister of the aviarys & donkey hunting
Dax: Minister of salt conservation & landmines
Gus: Minister of culture & Chief dog-catcher
Ihateadrianromo: Minister of apathy & Chief head shaver
Jane: Minister of the midgetry & fetal experimentation
Mike: Minister of defense & sweatgland research
Patti: Minister of surveillance with regard to vampire maze activity & big shoes
Peter: Minister of information & genetic engineering
Question: Minister of contraception & contact lenses
Riff: Minister of political assassination & karaoke
Trish: Minister of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms
A big M.A.G. welcome to the lucky 13th member of M.A.G., Riff. It is now your turn to shave your head and change your name to a letter. Nobody has done it yet, but someone has to eventually, right?
It is with great remorse that M.A.G. takes the rest of the weekend off. Remember to shake your fist and curse toward the sky, maybe some fantastical spooky phantom is watching fearfully.
Thank you for choosing M.A.G.
-BoEM inc ltd CCCP